Table of Contents
- Introduction
- Frustrations with Society
- The Breaking Point
- Disclaimers & Hard Truths
- Common Mistakes in ADHD Coping
- My Tools & Frameworks (and Why They Work)
- Myth-Busting ADHD
- Conclusion
Introduction
Having grown up with a brain that not only I, but those around me, deemed broken, I was faced with a choice:
- Accept this incredibly limiting identity, act the part, and “know my place”
- Or — find a way to navigate the world with the hardware I was given, in a world that had no interest in understanding or accommodating people like me.
The system was never going to hand me tools to function well. So I had to build my own.
Following my 3+ years since first contacting my GP for an ADHD appointment, I can confidently say it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. The emotional release and increase in quality of life were incredible.
More aware than ever now, I realise this: so much pain and so many limitations can be removed by:
- Grieving (reflecting on the past and what was lost)
- Accepting it (doing research, getting diagnosed)
- Addressing it (diagnosis, treatment, coping strategies)
- Embracing it (understanding yourself fully and unapologetically)
I want to share my experience, my tools, and my rationalisations — not just to offer solutions, but to help you feel less alone, validated, and maybe even a little empowered.
Frustrations with Society
Rigid Structures Kill Us Before We Even Start
Unique problem-solving and outside-the-box thinking? Punished in school. Then, as an adult, you realise the most successful leaders and innovators all have exactly those skills you were told to shut down.
In the early stages of life, compliance is rewarded, not creativity. And yet the adult world glorifies “visionaries” who almost always refused to comply. The hypocrisy is… rich.
The Paradox of ADHD in Public Life
- Untreated and undiagnosed, you are labelled “difficult,” “broken,” “undisciplined.”
- Aware, treated, and vocal, you are “attention-seeking,” “weak,” “making it up,” or “drugged up.”
People want you medicated and coping well — but also want you to shut up about it. The message is clear: fit in quietly, or be punished.
The Breaking Point
During the pandemic, a switch flipped in my mind. Zoom classes and the lack of physical presence in a classroom gave me control of my own time.
For the first time, I could think, reflect, learn, and learn how to learn — at my own pace and in my own way. This freedom, never granted by the rigid structures of school, was the catalyst for my growth.
I also, for the first time, had people who believed in me — a couple of teachers who saw past my “problematic” behaviour, and my partner at the time, who stood by me completely. That combination of freedom and belief was my launchpad.
Disclaimers & Hard Truths
DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional or ADHD expert. This is not medical advice. I am sharing my understanding through my experience, research, and the UK Right to Choose diagnosis and treatment process.
Medication Is Not a Magic Cure
It makes it easier to do things that are still hard. Without structure, coping skills, and basic wellbeing in place, meds will just make you hyperfocus on the wrong things (hello, 6-hour Wikipedia rabbit holes).
Think of medication as a supplement to a functioning system — not the system itself.
It Is Not for Everyone
ADHD is a spectrum. Some live fine without meds. Others feel “off” on them. Some take them not because they cannot cope otherwise, but because it improves quality of life significantly.
Try Coping Frameworks First
Use them consistently for a few months. If you still feel like you are running in circles, then look at therapy, coaching, or diagnosis + medication.
Adapt or Be Crushed
This is a lifelong process of trial and error. Your methods need to work for you, not the person in the productivity book.
Common Mistakes in ADHD Coping
- Thinking meds will do all the work
Without structure, they just make you more focused on distractions. - Copy-pasting neurotypical productivity hacks
Forcing yourself into “miracle morning” routines you hate will just break your consistency and self-esteem. - All-or-nothing thinking
Skipping a day is not failure. Doing some is infinitely better than doing nothing. - Overloading with tools
Having five to-do list apps is a great way to avoid doing actual work.
My Tools & Frameworks (and Why They Work)
My coping strategy revolves around using concrete tools for any work that requires focus, detail, and consistency. Here is what I use — and why it works for the ADHD brain.
1. Bullet Points & Structured Templates
- Why it works: Reduces decision fatigue and “blank page” paralysis. Your brain is primed to fill in rather than start from zero.
2. The Holy Trinity
- Calendar – visualises time, making it tangible
- To-do list – frees your working memory so your brain stops panicking about forgetting things
- Notebook – acts as both a creative dump and emotional processing tool
3. Visual Cues to Kill Distractions
- Phone out of sight
- Separate work/rest spaces
- On your computer: separate desktops, no irrelevant icons, Do Not Disturb
- Why it works: Removes immediate temptation and lowers dopamine spikes from distractions.
4. Structured Work Blocks
2–3 hours of deep work in your peak focus time.
- Why it works: ADHD brains can sustain focus in sprints — concentrated blocks create momentum without expecting 8-hour focus marathons.
5. Plan with Depth
Decide what you want, why, and how. Sit with it until it is concrete.
- Why it works: Specificity kills vague anxiety and creates a map you can actually follow.
6. Kill the All-or-Nothing Mindset
If mornings do not work for you, stop forcing it. If you can only do 30 minutes every few days, that is still infinitely better than 0.
- Why it works: Flexible consistency is more sustainable than rigid perfection.
Myth-Busting ADHD
“It’s Just Laziness”
No, it is executive dysfunction — the same reason you can focus for 6 hours on something you love but cannot start a 10-minute boring task.
“Everyone Gets Distracted”
Yes, but not to the point it derails their life, relationships, and work consistently.
“You Just Need More Willpower”
ADHD is not a moral failing. It is a neurological difference. Tools and systems are not crutches — they are necessary infrastructure.
Conclusion
ADHD will not be “fixed,” but it can be managed. The combination of emotional acceptance, practical structure, and honest self-awareness is what gives you freedom.
You will slip up, and you will adapt. The point is not perfection — it is building a life that actually works for you, instead of trying to squeeze yourself into a mould you were never made for.